Meet the By Roxie with Dr. Michael |
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■ Scenario Number 11: He's Facing Nancy and Alicia Two girlfriends, Nancy and Alicia are at a table at lunchtime in a restaurant talking to a good long-term candidate. ■ Scenario Number 10: The Man Has A Familiar Face Three months after that party, you are walking in the park and see a vaguely familiar face. He was the invitee who brought along the crude one in Scenario #5 and was also mentioned in Scenario #6. ■ Scenario Number 9: The Man Who Is a Liar You are still at the same east-coast party, wandering around, listening and observing carefully. You are like a professional mole, drinking only water or a diet drink to keep your senses acute. ■ Scenario Number 8: The Man With A Lovely Smile You are at the same party as Scenario #7. You pass by a strikingly handsome man who has a lovely smile; he is talking to some other woman. ■ Scenario Number 7: The Flabby Man At the completion of Scenario #6 several questions were asked as to what was learned. Everyone would have a different response. ■ Scenario Number 6: The Interesting Man You are at the same party of Scenario #5, carefully avoiding the creep. You are also cautious of his friend, the invited one, since birds of a feather flock together. On the other hand that is just a speculation and you have learned not to prejudge others without evidence. So you go to the invitee, wanting to start a conversation. ■ Scenario Number 5: The Talkative Man You have been thinking of Scenario #4 and the anxious one. You realized that he was trying to be a “bad boy,” hoping to snag some victim that is attracted to that type. Many women are and even you find that style a bit titillating. ■ Scenario Number 4: The Fidgety Man In the first two scenes you were relatively passive. In the third you were more interactive. In this one, you continue to develop in that direction and make an effort to be more active, ask more questions and test your bar neighbors. ■ Scenario Number 3: The Flashy Man Dear Reader: The first two scenarios focused on selection. When people look back at the beginning of a relationship that turned sour they can usually look back and see the warning signs within the first five minutes of the first encounter. ■ Scenario Number 2: The Millionaire As in Scenario #1 you are again sitting on a barstool awaiting your very long-standing and close friends. ■ Scenario Number 1: The Man With Everything You are at a bar to meet some of your friends, but they are not there yet so you decide to wait for them at the bar. About the Scenarios, Roxie and Dr. Michael
Roxie, blessed with a woman’s instinct,
tells it the way she sees it.
Roxie puts it this way: How to avoid wasting
time on stupid people.
These scenarios come to you on a regular — sometimes irregular — basis. They are useful for everyone. No exceptions. Even though the format is a scenario of a woman coursing through life, once you understand the kind of person you want to avoid, whatever your gender or age or circumstance, you can imagine a similar scenario that applies to you. Each scenario uses a female in a dating situation to make you aware of the types of people to avoid or to go after. Those types are everywhere in your everyday life. Identify them and you will know what to do by following the actions described.
Tell me and I’ll
forget. Roxie uses the dating world just as an example as that is the origin of the greatest waste of time — a lousy marriage with a “stupid” person. The usage of “stupid” pertains to a mixture of emotional and intellectual qualities. This topic is covered at the end of a future scenario. What is the most important part of the dating process? Selection, of course. Couples who are having great difficulties in their relationship (married or not) all can trace the principal blunder they made back to the initial meeting. One side or both know now what they should have realized from the start. They say if only I had appreciated the behavior I have seen, I could have saved myself years of misery. These series of scenarios are meant to alert you to various important factors. The way to get the most from them is to read the scenario — then stop and think about it for a while — then look up the discussion in the chat room and ponder it some more. Each example actually reflects on many different possibilities of experiences similar in theme although varying in content. The discussion is meant to make you recall many other events you have lived through, not just the manifest content of that one particular concrete episode. If you find the scenarios useful and want your friends to see them, the best you can do for them is to ask them to get the data themselves by joining the Grand Lifestyle Club, ponder them and learn something. People learn by involving themselves, paying the fee, having the data to mull over so that this may produce change. If you give them a lecture as to the contents, they will thank you for helping them to avoid the hard work themselves, but they will learn nothing and you will have actually done them a disservice.
Don’t walk in front
of me, I may not follow.
We invite
comments and contributions.
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Michael I. Rose, MD, FAPA is a Distinguished
Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, Diplomate in
Psychiatry of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology, and
Voluntary Associate Professor Emeritus at the University of Miami School
of Medicine, Department of Psychiatry. During his 45 years of practicing psychiatry, Dr.
Rose has rendered his professional service covering a wide range of
specialties. Please 
