Meet the By Ruthie with Dr. Michael |
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Scenario Number 6 You are at the same party of Scenario #5, carefully avoiding the creep. You are also cautious of his friend, the invited one, since birds of a feather flock together. On the other hand that is just a speculation and you have learned not to prejudge others without evidence. So you go to the invitee, wanting to start a conversation. How do you do that? Simple. You merely smile, say hello and “I hope you won’t be offended if I try to start a conversation with you. You are wearing a very fashionable jacket and you seem interesting.” (You don’t need any clever pickup lines; being direct and honest are always the best ways. Many people get all stressed out while trying to find the right “pickup line” — a total waste of time.) You say: “Frankly I thought your friend’s remark was gross”. Notice how you are bold enough to say what you really believed. Being completely candid is always the best way to go. You and others always know where you stand. If someone can’t take it, then the best time to find out is right now and save yourself lots of time. Who could resist a request such as: “I hope you won’t be offended”? The invitee says: “I was so embarrassed, he grew up in my neighborhood as a child and I avoided him as much as possible. He has already been married and divorced three times, claims he’s retired but doesn’t have a cent. He came to town and, called me. So I told him I was busy and couldn’t see him. He asked me what I was doing; I said I was invited to a party; he said okay I’ll go with you, so I said alright as I thought he couldn’t cause too much damage. I want to thank you for coming over to speak to me and give me that chance to vent.” You were proud of yourself that you were forward enough to start this conversation and didn’t take your original speculation too seriously. You were happily surprised that you met this attractive man with a good sense of humor, gracious, a giving person and closer to the nonexistent perfect man fantasy. Upfront he explained that his girlfriend was at the other end of the room. You said thank you for clarifying that so you moved on.
The above situation is a courtship event. In other situations, when you discover that the other person is using bad judgment, do exactly what the woman here did. She moved away from that one and began a discussion with his friend to get more information and get a reality check. Don’t explain or complain. They have been identified. Face reality, grieve your fantasies and continue with your life. It will only get better. DISCUSSION What have you learned in this scenario? Ponder over it. Amplify it. A few more little notes “I didn’t have time”. — A famous football player, when asked why he didn’t let his beard grow while on vacation as he had previously stated he would.
There’s nothing wrong with pregnancy. Half the people wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for women being pregnant. — Sarah Kennedy, British Radio 2
The new Irish Flag would be orange and green and would in the future be known as the Irish tricolor. — Smith O’Brien, Irish Revolutionary
One of the topics discussed above concerning meeting people is dealt with again in Scenario #7.
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